i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize