You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
