brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
