I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
