It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
