so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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