As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
