Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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