How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
