Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
