you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I touched a dick in church today
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize