I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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