Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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