wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
