she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
