I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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