I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
