I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
