we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
