Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I deserve this hangover.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
