Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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