So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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