i was born a porn star she said
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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