I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MIDGETS
????
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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