she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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