She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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