if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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