and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
