I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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