She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
