Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
