Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
