we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Are my feet made of real feet?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
