and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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