I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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