Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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