And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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