The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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