if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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