You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
