I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
