I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
