i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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