i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We need to get me chipped asap
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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