Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
