I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
