Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
