dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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