I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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