Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so explain again why im purple
no
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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