he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
