if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize