Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
