if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
