Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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