I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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