she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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