I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we should paint friendship bongs
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