Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
