Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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