I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
