I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
