I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
