he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
