that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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