plz talk dirty to me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
