I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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