Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my liver is dry heaving
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
