he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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