she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
